Held By Grace

From Survival to Surrender

Growing up, my household was a walking – on – eggshells kind of home. I am second to youngest in a family of 12 – and the youngest girl. I’ve always been very shy. I don’t like having attention on me, and I try my best to stay small and not cause controversy.

When I turned 16, I started a life of partying and went down a very dark and selfish path. I was drinking and getting involved with guys and situations I definitely should have walked away from.

At 19, I moved out of state. Deep down, I think I knew in my heart there had to be more for me – more to life than what I was used to. More than what everyone around me was doing.

Moving away from the influence and peer pressure helped shift my focus. I began to see there was more to life than boys and partying. I started going to church regularly, accepted Jesus into my heart, and began growing my relationship with God.

I did all that for about two years, before moving back to my home state. I missed my parents and wanted to be closer to family.

Once I was back home, I continued going to church for about a year – and then I fell back into old patterns. Now I was old enough to legally drink, and this is when I met who I thought would be the love of my life.

We met one night, and although things didn’t initially work out, we stayed loosely connected over the years. Eventually, that connection turned into a very toxic relationship.

But from that relationship came my wonderful daughter.

Having her gave me the courage to leave. She opened my eyes and helped me see that this life was not healthy – for me or for her. I knew that if she were ever in a relationship like mine, I wouldn’t want her to tolerate what I was tolerating.

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” -Psalm 34:18

I was single for five years. Recently, I started dating a wonderful, Godly man. It’s been an adjustment – but in the best way.

There’s no drama. No yelling. No passive – aggressive behavior.

Instead, there’s open communication, no judgement, and space for each of us to be who we are.

I still have moments where I get in my head and make situations feel worse than they are. But now, I’m not afraid to bring those feelings into the light and allow him to walk through them with me and offer reassurance.

During those five years, I went to therapy and returned to church. I became a member and now serve every other Sunday. I worked hard on myself and focused on becoming mentally healthy.

Accepting Jesus into my life again helped me accept who I am – and allowed Him to begin changing my behaviors and thought patterns.

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” -2Corintians 5:17

I am still growing and improving every day. New habits take time. But I’m learning – and with Jesus by my side, anything is possible.

Being vulnerable is hard for me. Staying guarded was how I protected myself from getting hurt. But I’m learning that vulnerability is one of the keys to building healthy relationships.

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” -2Corinthians 12:9

That’s one of the reasons I started this blog.

I hope to help someone who has been – or is currently – where I once was.

My prayer is that this space becomes an encouragement to you in your dark times.

Gods got you. He loves every part of you.

He’s just waiting for you to become vulnerable with Him and let Him in – to show you the way and give you the courage to follow.

“He who began a good work in you will carry it out on to completion.” -Philippians 1:6

May you feel God’s grace right where you are today.
Nothing in your story is beyond His care.

When Being a People Pleaser Follows You into Parenting

I’ve always been a people pleaser.

I like harmony. I like calm. I don’t like disappointing people. Somewhere along the way, I realized that tendency didn’t disappear when I became a mom-it followed me straight into parenting.

And that’s been hard to admit.

I struggle with being “the parent” all the time. The consistent one. The firm one. The one who holds the boundary even when it causes tears.

Especially when it causes tears.

It’s uncomfortable when my daughter is upset with me. Something in me wants to fix it immediately. Smooth it over. Give in just enough so the tension disappears. But recently, God has been gently revealing something to me-that my discomfort was quietly shaping her behavior.

I started noticing a pattern.

If she didn’t get her way, she would pout. Push back. Let a small tantrum simmer just enough to test me. And too often, I would bend-not because it was right, but because it was easier.

And that realization humbled me.

“Train up a child in the way she should go…”(Proverbs 22:6)

Training requires consistency. And consistency requires strength.

Not loud strength. Not harsh strength. But calm, steady, unwavering strength.

I began asking the Lord to help me separate my people-pleasing tendencies from my parenting. Because discipline isn’t rejection. Boundaries aren’t unkind. And momentary disappointment is not damage.

It’s discipleship.

Now when it happens – when the pouting starts or the attitude shifts – I take a breath. I speak calmly and clearly. I let her know the behavior isn’t acceptable, and I won’t engage with it. Then I walk out of the room.

Twenty minutes.

At first, it felt uncomfortable. everything in me wanted to go back and fix it. But those twenty minutes have become sacred. They give her space to regulate. They give me space to pray. They remind both of us that we are not enemies – we are just learning.

Afterward, we sit down and talk. Calmly. Eye to eye. We come up with a solution together.

And something is shifting.

Not just in her-but in me.

God is teaching me that loving my child well doesn’t mean keeping her happy at all costs. It means guiding her with wisdom. It means being steady even when she is storming. It means trusting that short-term frustration can produce long-term character.

“For the Lord disciplines the one He loves…”(Hebrews 12:6)

If discipline is an expression of love from a perfect Father, then surely I can trust Him to help me reflect that love – imperfectly but intentionally.

Parenting is refining me more than I ever expected.

It’s exposing the parts of me that avoid discomfort. It’s teaching me that leadership in my home requires courage. It’s reminding me that I answer to God first, not temporary emotions.

I won’t get it right every time. But I’m becoming more aware. More prayerful. More steady.

And maybe that’s grace too.

Grace to grow as she grows.
Grace to lead with love instead of fear.
Grace to hold the boundary – and still hold her heart.

Finding grace along the way sometimes looks like walking out of the room… and trusting that both of us will come back softer.

Finding Grace Along The Way

An Introduction

I didn’t start this blog because I have everything figured out.

I started it because I don’t.

Because some days feel heavy. Because some nights are quiet in a way that echoes. Because strength isn’t always chosen – sometimes it’s assigned.

I’m a single mom. I work hard. I carry responsibility that doesn’t clock out at the end of a shift. And somewhere between long workdays, bedtime routines, and whispered prayers when no one else is listening, I’ve learned something sacred :

Grace isn’t found at the finish line. It’s found along the way.

This space is for the in – between women. The ones who love Jesus but still wrestle. The ones who trust God but still cry in their cars. The ones who are strong because they have to be – not because it’s easy.

“Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness.” (Lamentations 3:22-23)

There were mornings I clung to that like oxygen. Not because everything was fixed. Not because life was neat and tidy. But because I needed to believe that even if yesterday drained me, today carried fresh mercy.

Finding grace doesn’t mean pretending everything is okay.

It means choosing to see God in the middle of what isn’t.

It means noticing that even when you’re walking through fire, you are not alone. “When you pass through the waters,I will be with you… When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned.” (Isaiah 43:2)

This blog isn’t about polished faith. It’s about practiced faith.

The kind that shows up to work tired but still whispers, “Lord, give me strength.” The kind that wipes tears, straightens your back,and keeps going. The kind that admits, “I’m overwhelmed,” and then hears God respond, “My grace is sufficient for you,for My power is made perfect in weakness.” (2Corinthians 12:9)

I used to think grace was something you needed when you failed.

Now, I know it’s something you need when you’re trying your hardest.

Grace for the mom who worries if she’s doing enough. Grace for the woman who feels unseen. Grace for the worker who comes home exhausted but still shows up with love. Grace for the nights you fall asleep mid – prayer.

This blog is where I’ll write the real stuff. The messy middle. The questions. The quiet victories. The refining seasons. The reminders that God is closest to the brokenhearted. (Psalm 34:18) not the perfectly put together.

I don’t want this to be a highlight reel.

I want this to feel like we are sitting across from each other with coffee, saying, “Me too.” I want this to be a place where faith feels accessible – not intimidating. Where Scripture meets real life. Where we can admit that sometimes we are surviving and that surviving with Jesus is still sacred.

If you are here,maybe you are tired too. Maybe you’re rebuilding. Maybe you’re carrying more than anyone realizes.

I hope this space reminds you that grace is not ahead of you somewhere – it’s already beside you.

It’s in the strength you didn’t know you had. It’s in the provision that showed up right on time, and it’s in the quiet whisper that says, “Keep going.”

We are all walking somewhere. Through something. Toward something.

And Along the way – in the dust, in the doubt, in the daily grind- God is there.

So this is where we will look for Him. Not just in miracles. But in the making.

Welcome to Finding Grace Along The Way 🤍